


as I wander out under the sky

by carrieevew



Series: Carrie's Winter Celebration [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16979007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrieevew/pseuds/carrieevew
Summary: "How did I not know that you were secretly a Santa's elf?" Clarke asked into her scarf while Bellamy was strapping an unnecessarily big fir to the roof of her car. She offered to help but since even he could barely reach the top--she was pretty much useless, so she chose stay on the side-lines and admire his strength and the way the muscles on his back rippled with exertion."It was never a secret, you were just never around to experience it."for the prompt: "one of them being *really* into it and the other just super apathetic so it's just fluffy 'i really don't care about this holiday but you're dang cute' nonsense"





	as I wander out under the sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_most_beautiful_broom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_most_beautiful_broom/gifts).



> title from "I wonder as I Wander" ( _[Lindsey's Stirling's version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rR8jc6EPQM)_ )

"How did I not know that you were secretly a Santa's elf?" Clarke asked into her scarf while Bellamy was strapping an unnecessarily big fir to the roof of her car. She offered to help but since even he could barely reach the top—she was pretty much useless, so she chose stay on the side-lines and admire his strength and the way the muscles on his back rippled with exertion.

"It was never a secret, you were just never around to experience it," he answered, wiping his gloved hands on his jeans. "Come on, now you can help me," Bellamy called her over, handed her one end of a bungee cord and told her to slip it through the cracked window in the car door.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need more than that," she called out while Bellamy walked around and got inside the car from the other side. He grabbed her end of the cord and tide it together with the other end. Clarke crouched down and watched as Bellamy, reaching across the centre console, checked if his bindings were tight, the gear lever digging into his thigh.

"It's almost three weeks till Christmas and yet here we are, buying a tree from some suspiciously quiet people, in the middle of a freaking forest because you wanted to get the best tree before they were bought out and you needed time to decorate. I never expected you to be that into this whole Christmas thing."

"I assure you that this is a legitimate company and not a some mafia, selling trees that fell from the back of a truck," Bellamy chuckled as they strapped the back of the tree and he clambered out of the car.

He inspected the tree and Clarke battled the urge to stomp her feet.

"You are insufferable!"

"I just thought you may wanna get in the car and not freeze your ass off anymore, and we could talk when we're back on the road," Bellamy said with a smile and walked to the passenger side.

Clarke rolled her eyes at him but skipped to the car and nearly jumped inside.

They were well on their way back to the city when she cast a glance at Bellamy.

"Talk."

He snorted at the seriousness in her tone and ran a hand through his hair.

"For the record, I think you're taking this whole thing way too seriously. So I like Christmas. It's not like I kept a secret child from you. Why is this such a big deal for you?"

"I just—" Clarke sighed. Yeah, she knew this was making mountains out of molehills for absolutely no reason. They stopped at a set of lights and Clarke dropped her head on the headrest. She turned to Bellamy and felt herself melt a little at his expression. For all that he was smiling, there was a flash of worry in his eyes and Clarke knew that he was taking her seriously.

How on earth did she not see her stupid crush coming? It was impossible not to fall in love with Bellamy Blake and yet, she was still blindsided when it dawned on her that she had.

The lights changed to green and they pulled away.

"I know that it's silly," she started, staring at the road ahead and purposefully not at him, "but we've been friends for over four years and we tell each other everything. I'm just surprised that I didn't know that and I'm overreacting."

Her eyes were still fixed to the street, so she didn't notice when he grabbed her hand from the gear lever. She gave her a squeeze and put her hand back. Clarke was really hoping that he didn't notice the blush that crept up her face.

“You know how I feel about holidays, I'm just curious why you never said how much you loved it.”

“I know all that because you told me how little you cared for your mum's parties because they felt impersonal and fake, but you still wanted to go home and spend the holidays with her, so I just didn't see the point of talking about Christmas at all,” he shrugged.

He did have a point. Christmas in her home meant that the house was professionally decorated to look like it came straight out a catalogue. It meant her mother's annual party for all the movers and shakers of her home town and a fancy dinner at the Jahas. The gifts she received were always so impeccably wrapped that it left her wondering if her parents were just as surprised about their contents as she was when she unwrapped them.

It was all perfectly perfect, except it never really felt like a family holiday and ever since her dad died when Clarke was 17, she lost all the desire to even try and make an effort. She still went to see her mother every year but if Abby Griffin decided to move her party to May, Clarke probably wouldn't even notice the difference. No wonder Bellamy never talked to her about his Christmas preparations.

Only this year was the first time that Abby Griffin decided to forgo the party and planned a romantic trip to Paris with her now-fiancé, Marcus Kane. Clarke took a couple of weeks off and went home around Thanksgiving instead and figured that would be it in terms of celebrations for the rest of the year. Until Bellamy called her this morning asking to borrow her ancient Range Rover, so he could go and pick up his Christmas tree and Clarke obviously wasn't about to ignore this opportunity to spend time with him.

"You know how Octavia was a pretty sickly kid, right? How scared my mother was of her getting ill, so she kept her at home till high school? O was never able to go outside and play with other kids, she didn’t go on school trips or dances, or trick-or-treating," Bellamy continued. Clarke hummed in agreement. She did know that, Bellamy told her all about their childhood one night when he got drunk after his sister, now an adult, no longer hindered by an overprotective mother, announced that she was going on a year-long trip around the world—three years ago.

“We wanted to do something to cheer O up and Christmas was the best option—everything she wanted to do, we could’ve done inside and if we were creative enough, we were able to stretch it over the whole month. And she loved it, when she was a kid. Then, when she was sixteen, she ran away from home for almost a month and said that if she didn’t die after spending all that time among other people, then school’s not gonna hurt her either. After that, mum finally let her go to school and she no longer needed to be cheered up but we still kept at it. And I realised how much I liked it. That I wasn’t doing it just for her, but for myself, too.”

He smiled and Clarke felt a small pang of longing. She never really hoped for a more homely Christmas but listening to Bellamy talk about his traditions, she realised how much she wanted it now.  Not necessarily the holiday, that she could do without. But a family and traditions—with him.

“So,” Bellamy interrupted her train of thought and Clarke cleared her throat to get rid of the sudden tightness, “if you wanna make fun of me and my sappiness, now’s your chance.”

“No,” she responded, voice still a little hoarse, “that’s actually kinda cute.”

***

It's not that Clarke really needed to help Bellamy decorate his tree. He was perfectly capable of doing that himself. But if the smile he was wearing while choosing it was any indication, there was no way she was missing out on seeing him in his element.

Which is why she was ringing his doorbell at 9 am next Saturday, juggling the two bottles of eggnog and whiskey in one hand and a box of decorations in the other. And when Bellamy opened the door for her, Clarke was not disappointed—he was wearing a Santa's hat and the happiest grin she'd ever seen.

"Did you buy Christmas decoration?" he asked with disbelief, taking the box from her while she took her coat off.

"Nope, they're all gifts from kids, with gratitude for castrating their pets," Clarke answered and seeing Bellamy's comically raised eyebrow, she added "amongst other things."

"Maya charged herself with decorating the waiting area at the clinic, so I usually take those home. I figured it's better that you used them, than have them collecting dust for another year."

She was gonna say something else but whatever that was, flew right out of her head when she entered the living room. It looked like ground zero after an explosion in Santa's Town.

When Bellamy got the teaching position in one of the best schools in town, he decided to move closer to work. Only any decently-sizes flats in that neighbourhood cost a small fortune, so when Bellamy found a place with a reasonable price and in a walking distance from the school, he took it without a second thought. Never mind the fact that it was the smallest flat that the world. Which, as he claimed, worked in his favour because no-one ever came by unannounced, since he didn't have enough places for people to sit without notice.

"Is that why you never invite us over?" Clarke asked, narrowing her eyes at him. She picked up an Elf on a Shelf figurine. "Because all available space is overtaken by baubles?"

"Yes, you got me," Bellamy called over from the kitchen.

"It has absolutely nothing to do with all the overpriced bars and restaurants around here and the fact that you all live on the other side of the town and I'm kind and generous enough not to force you to make the trip," he added in mock seriousness once he joined her in the living room, to glasses of spiked eggnog in his hands.

The pom-pom on Bellamy's hat bumped against the side of her head and Clarke jerked away in surprise, which pulled a loud snort out of Bellamy.

"Relax, Grinch, it's not gonna bite." He laughed and put an arm around her shoulders, tugging him into his side. Clarke feigned resistance out of principle but soon, she relaxed against him, melting into the hug. They stood silently for a moment and Clarke could've sworn she felt him press a soft kiss on the top of her head but before she could really register that, he had already moved away.

"Okay," he said and cleared his throat. "We've got work to do, so let's get a move on!"

Bellamy walked over to one of his boxes and pulled out a red bundle. He came back to Clarke and put, what turned out to be another Santa's hat, on her head. It was a little big on her, so it dropped down and almost cover her eyes. Clarke made a face at him but when Bellamy just laughed, she smiled herself, too.

***

Over the next couple of weeks leading up to Christmas, things have changed between them.

Well, kind of.

Yes, they still spent most of their spare time together but now, Bellamy would take her for a walk around the city centre, so they could watch the lighting of the Christmas illuminations, instead of just going to the movies.

Yes, he still waited for her with a hot cup of coffee when they would meet for lunch, just like he always did, only now he also had a tiny chocolate Santa or a gingerbread for her.

He began wearing so many different, absolutely ridiculous, Christmas jumpers that Clarke started suspecting he kept buying them in bulk just so he could show them to her.

Clarke couldn't really figure out why the hell he was so invested in bringing Christmas to her all of a sudden but she also wasn't complaining. It was sweet of him to make such effort and it clearly made him happy, too, having her to share this whole thing with.

And besides, seeing how his face lit up every time he waited for her reaction to yet another doodle of a misshapen reindeer on her coffee cup was just too dang cute.

***

It was the Friday before Christmas, when Bellamy knocked on her door with a paper-mâché Christmas tree that was a little worse for the wear, when Clarke broke.

"Don't take this the wrong way," she said, watching as Bellamy searched for a good spot to put the tree, "but why?"

Bellamy finally decided on a spot on the dresser. He fiddled with it till he decided it looked perfect and turned to her.

"The kids were making them in art class and someone left it in my room, so I followed your example and brought it over."

“Yeah, I figured this isn’t a Bellamy Blake original, although I suppose it probably is a fair representation of your crafting skills,” Clarke said with a grin and came over for a closer look. The tree was a little wet from the snow and a bit crumpled but Clarke had no doubt that Bellamy did what he could when he took to bus to her place.

“Ha, bloody ha,” Bellamy deadpanned. Clarke smiled at him and bumped her hip against his. "What I meant was, it's a gift."

“It’s very sweet of you but what’s up with all that Christmas spirit? You know that’s just not my thing.”

He was fiddling with the tree for a moment, smoothing a tiny crease with his thumb.

"You always said how you never really had this homely,  traditional Christmas with your family and that's why you don't care. Cause you never even knew what you were missing out on, and I just figured—" Bellamy paused and rubbed the back of his neck. He shot her a quick glance and Clarke noticed a small blush of embarrassment on his face.

A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She grabbed his hand that was hanging loose right next to hers and squeezed in reassurance. Bellamy squeezed back before letting go and continued.

"Well, I figured, we're— _I'm_ your family now, too. I could show you how some of my traditions look like, or maybe we could start some new ones. And if you still don't like it, that's fine but at least you can make—an informed decision."

Clarke felt a warm wave of affection flooding her, waking all the butterflies in her stomach. She was so crazy, unbelievably in love with this sweet, sweet man.

"Thank you, Bellamy," she said.

Silence hung between him, heavy with so many things left unsaid. It was Bellamy who finally broke it when he grinned at her and said,

"Yeah, hold your gratitude. You're coming to our Christmas dinner this year and that's a whole production. It may be the thing that pushes you from 'undecided' to 'vehemently against Christmas'."

Clarke laughed at that and Bellamy joined in soon after, breaking whatever tension may have linger between them. She looked at him, his face open with joy, and she thought, if there was one thing that she really wanted this Christmas, it was the courage to finally tell him how she felt.

***

The Christmas dinner at Bellamy's was unlike anything Clarke had ever experienced before.

She'd worn a soft cotton dress and an oversized cardigan that were a far cry from the stiff number her mother asked her to wear the year before. Bellamy managed to squeeze a dining-room table and six seats into his living room, and somehow made it feel cosy instead of cramped. The plates and bowls looked like they were collected specifically not to match each other. The amount of food they were served was simply staggering and yet, it was all gone by the end of the evening, albeit they all had to practically roll out of their chairs and over to the couch.

Monty and Harper were the first to leave, to no-one's surprise, given that Harper was five months pregnant and tired.

Raven followed soon after, saying she had a standing Skype date with Shaw, who was currently back home from his deployment and spending Christmas with his mother. Raven tried sounding cool when she said they invited her to come, too, she just couldn't get enough time off work to make that trip, but she wasn't fooling anyone, it was clear as day that she missed him. They was even a tiny blush on her neck, when Murphy teased her about it.

Murphy didn't even bother pretending that he didn't miss Emori. She and her brother had been trying to sell their family house for so long that when they'd finally found a buyer, they didn't complain even once, that he could only meet with them on the 26th. Murphy came alone then, got himself nice and drunk, and then left shortly before midnight, leaving just Bellamy and Clarke, alone in the tiny flat, illuminated only by candles and the Christmas tree lights.

The two of them stayed on the couch for a while and watched TV, nearly falling asleep on top of each other. When _Die Hard_ ended, Bellamy grabbed their wine glasses and took them to the kitchen. He asked if she wanted a refill and Clarke hummed absentmindedly in agreement—she was busy putting her own plan in motion.

Clarke went over to her bag and took out a small twig of mistletoe. She grabbed one of the chairs and carried it to the middle of the room, so she could tie the mistletoe to one of the garlands hanging from the ceiling. She only just managed to take the chair back and come back to stand under the mistletoe before she heard Bellamy’s footsteps coming closer.

“So, any early reviews? Should I mark you down as slightly enthusiastic now, or—”

Bellamy stopped in his tracks, confused, when he saw Clarke just standing in the middle of the room. It took him a moment to notice the mistletoe and when he did, his mouth dropped open but he didn’t say anything.

“See, I know some Christmas traditions, too.’ Clarke said and smiled softly but the longer Bellamy stayed quiet, the more unsure she became.

“Or we could forget about it,” she finally said, fidgeting. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just—if you don’t want to, then it’s just a weed. We don’t—”

Clarke never got the chance to finish the sentence because in a blink of an eye, Bellamy put down their glasses and crossed the room in a few long strides. He took her face in his hands and pulled her closer to put a long, hard kiss to her lips. Clarke gasped against his mouth and kissed him back. One of Bellamy’s hands travelled from her face to the small of her back, pulling her impossibly closer. She opened up to him when she felt his tongue in her lips and tangled her hands in his soft curls.

They were both breathing hard when they finally broke the kiss, both smiling at each other. Bellamy's cheeks were flushed, his hair disheveled from her fingers.

“Did you—“ Bellamy’s voice was hoarse and he had to clear his throat before he went on, which gave Clarke a thrill of satisfaction and made her incredibly more turned on.

“Did you know that the tradition of decorating houses with mistletoe dates all the way back to the Roman Saturnalia?” he finally said. Clarke dropped her forehead to his shoulder and laughed into his chest.

“Is _that_ what you were thinking of right now?” Clarke asked and Bellamy grinned at her, both arms tightening around her back. “You’re such a nerd, I love you.”

Bellamy froze for a split second. Clarke was getting ready to backtrack but Bellamy moved in for another kiss, this one slower and less bruising but still absolutely breathtaking.

When the pulled apart, Bellamy ran a thumb across her cheekbone and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, his eyes shining with happiness.

“I love you, too, Princess.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys enjoyed it! comments and kudos will be welcomed like manna.  
> come see me on tumblr @[carrieeve](http://carrieeve.tumblr.com).


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